March 29, 2009

UPDATE:

But, Couldn't I Just Have Some Whiskey Only?

There's a stupid Balkan (no, not necessarily Greek, Jeff) tradition that the guest must drink water. I don't entirely get it, but I think it comes down to either, "Yes, please, a whiskey with water on the side", or "No whiskey just now, could I have a glass of water?"

Don't ask.

The sky is falling.

What Is Truth?

Your wife asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”

You think it does. But if you say “Yes”, you will be a liar. You will actually be saying, “I don’t love you or respect you, the mother of my children, and I don’t care if I hurt your feelings”. If you say, “No, you look great”, that is the real truth. Not the politically-correct truth. The truth in your heart and mind.*

*If you were to say, “I’m not sure. Take it off and come over here while I think about it”, it will be the truth in your glands, as well.

Criminals For Gun Control, or, Talk About A Hostile Work-Place Environment!

Fish and tomatoes,
Onions, garlic and potatoes;
Olive oil, salt and pepper,
Help to make the soup taste better.

A recipe is in the comments due to popular request.