Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The AMA On Health Care Reform

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new Universal Health Plan.
Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say "no".
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

Genma Holmes, Race Hustler, Serves Up Dish Of Fictional Horseshit To Gullible Bloggers

This lady falsely claims that she got a rookie policeman to profile and abuse her teenage son so as to teach him a lesson on how to behave around the police.

To put my words into application, I once asked a recent graduate from the police academy to help my eldest son understand that my worries were valid. He assured me he would teach him an unforgettable lesson. Several evenings later, my unsuspecting man-child was stopped by the graduate and was asked a slew of unimportant questions.

Where are you going tonight? Is this your car? Why are you out so late? What do your parents do?

The list was endless. The barrage of inquiries was intended to irritate and distract. As my son started to lose his composure and show his annoyance, the officer became more “aggressive” my son said later.

Consequently, he ended up on the hood of his SUV faced down and was told to address the officer as “Mr. Officer, sir”. After being given a fictional ticket and the fright of his life, he came home shaking with rage. As he tried to explain his terrorizing encounter he experienced, I continued the interrogation by asking about his actions that provoked the officer. I could hear the disbelief in his voice as he tried to repeat the sequence of events. I was not interested in the cop’s behavior but his responses to the cop. I saw the white hot anger on his face. I remind him that his exasperation was what others experienced daily.
This is total bullshit. Recent graduates from the police academy, also known as rookies, do not get to patrol alone. And when off-duty, they do not get to drive squad cars. And the police academy teaches them that violating someone's civil rights while armed with a handgun means a mandatory minimum of twelve years in prison. Mrs. Holmes is a liar.

And I got taken in by her gypsy spiel, too.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

I could not possibly consider myself professional grade if I had finished the job on time or if 5% did not need to be corrected by "the owner".

Saturday, August 08, 2009

What Obamacare Means

You go to the grocery store. Obama is waiting for you at the door. He asks, "What are you here for?" You say, "Some steak and arugula". Obama says, "Do you have the money to pay for it?" You say, "Yes".

Just then, another person walks up. Obama asks her, "What are you here for?" She says, "I'd like some cans of ChiliMac and a package of Twinkies, but I don't think I can afford it". Obama tells you, "Give her some of your money so she can buy the ChiliMac and Twinkies". You do.

Obama then turns to you and says, "You can go in and buy some ChiliMac and Twinkies, too." You say, "Say what?" He says, "If that's all she's getting, it's fair that it's all you get, too." You say, "But I can still afford steak and arugula." Obama says, "That's fine. Buy that for me."

[This post may be copied and republished, in its entirety, with or without attribution to me, but only in its entirety.]

Don't Mess With A Greek Island-Woman

A Greek woman set fire to a British man's genitals at a club after he allegedly made sexual advances on her.

"The British man, who police have also not yet identified, allegedly took off his pants there and waved his genitals at a number girls. He is then said to have "forcefully fondled" the Greek woman and asked her to hold his genitals."

"The woman asked the man to stop harassing her, police said, and when he didn't, she poured Sabucco, a liquor that resembles Greek ouzo, on his private area."

"When the man continued his advances, police said that's when the woman set fire to his genitals using a lighter."

"The man is currently at in a Heraklion, Crete, clinic being treated for second-degree burns to his testicles and penis."