No, The Police Should Not Waste Any Taxpayer Dollars Investigating This

Nude maid allegedly stole old idiot's wife's jewelry while the wife was on vacation and he was home alone with only time (and one other thing) on his hands.

The 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his suburban Tampa home.

Authorities say the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour.

Sheriff's office spokeswoman Debbie Carter says the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.

When the man's wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.

Police are investigating.

Baby Hippopotamus Impersonator Will Not Vote For McCain

Darn, McCain is in danger of losing the People-Who-Impersonate-Baby-Hippopotamuses vote.

Hawkins is now one of roughtly 240 million Americans who will not vote for McCain in November. He won’t be missed. And it is not likely he was going to vote for McCain in the first place. He would probably have written in Pat Buchanan or Ann Coulter. Hawkins’s repudiation will gain rather than lose sane votes for McCain.

More from Patterico.

Polipundit: A False Flag Operation?

Polipundit, a parody of a conservative blog, did its best to elect a Democratic Congress in 2006. And now it's doing the same thing for Barack Daley-Is-My-Daddy Obama. It finds a reason not to vote for the Republican candidate -- "Oohh, he's not conservative enough" -- and pushes it to the limit with its mouth-breathing moron readers.

It's a group blog but PoliPundit, the very strident anti-Bush site owner, is a self-proclaimed Americanized immigrant. Can you say "George Soros"?

No worries, though. Any idiot who takes Polipundit's RINO propaganda seriously is too stupid to find his way to the polling place.

High Powered Suppressed Air Rifle

From SayUncle.

The Talon SS.

Aren't Outlaws And Hell's Lovers Americans Too?

The City of Grayslake, Illinois cancelled its annual Ironhorse event consisting of maybe up to 40,000 bikers because of fears that two rival biker gangs would use it to carry on their feud with each other:

The event was expected to attract 20,000 to 40,000 bikers from across the country into Grayslake. It was organized by Austin's Saloon and Eatery in Libertyville and 95 WIIL ROCK in Kenosha.

The show did not go on, however, after Grayslake Mayor Tim Perry pulled the permit late Friday afternoon citing "several credible threats" of violence between motorcycle gangs planning to attend.

The groups were identified as the Outlaws and Hell's Lovers, a group affiliated with the Hell's Angels.

Perry said the information came from the Illinois State Police Statewide Terrorism and Intelligence Center and from federal law enforcement agencies.

"It warned that these factions were planning on attending this event and that they would try to complete some unfinished business between them," Perry said, citing multiple sources.

For the life of me, I don't know what the fuss is all about. The Outlaws and Hell's Lovers would only be shooting at each other and 40,000 motorcycles are likely to drown out the sound of the gunshots so I don't see how Grayslake residents would be especially disturbed. Where will the nanny-state stop?

Happy Mother's Day

Musical Straws

Today I volunteered to be the lunch-time supervisor at my daughter's classroom so the teacher and teaching aide could attend a teacher-appreciation luncheon. I taught the kids to make a musical noisemaking instrument from a soda straw and how to play make noise with it. Kind of like this.

I wonder how many parents will stop talking to me.

What Kind Of An Idiot Doesn't Know How To Put His Pants On By Himself?

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

My Dictatorship

Xrlq and SayUncle are engaged in a dictatorship meme. So here's my dictatorship:

Thought For The Day

If your cleaning lady were as smart as you she would not be your cleaning lady.

Are High School Romances Protected By The Constitution?

The ACLU claims that a Memphis, Tennessee high school principal, who posted the names of dating student couples in her school, opposite-sex and same-sex, violated the students' constitutional rights to equal protection, freedom of expression and association, due process and privacy. She even went so far as to call and tell the mother of one of the same-sex dating boys.

It seems to me that outing the kid to his mother was ok. Posting the list so the whole school knew about it was not. Although it is hard to believe that the principal knew more about "who is dating who" than the student body already did, you don't cavalierly reveal confidential information about minors to the whole world when you are in a position of trust and authority over them. I'll even go further. Adults do not gossip about children.

But a constitutional violation? It's a big stretch. This is a simple case of in loco parentis where the principal proved herself unworthy and untrustworthy to be in parentis.

Here you go kids: